God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Randomize
