She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
