An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
