He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
