u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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