It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
