Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
