just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize