forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
