I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
