I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
