Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Terrible idea I love it
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
