I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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