Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
