when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
