Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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