hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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