I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
