So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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