Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
high people should be assigned attendants
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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