We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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