I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
