Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
