he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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