If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize