I'm really into asian looking animals
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
