Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
