Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Randomize
