woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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