Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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