Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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