i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize