Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
