ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
