Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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