Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
