Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
