Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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