YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
So squirting runs in the family.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
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