Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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