Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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