just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
