Say something about gay babies.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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