im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
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