you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
