my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I believe in your delicious
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
