MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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