On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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