You really coming over, don't trick.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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