We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
