I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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