Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
