we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
