absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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