you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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