Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
