he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
