i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize