Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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