I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
