i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
